Chinglish lesson of the day: Do not scream

The top 10 worst technology predictions of all time

Gordon Crovitz has recently written an interesting op-ed about why technology predictions are mostly “bunk.” In his op-ed piece, he listed his “Top 10 Worst Technology Predictions” of all time as the following:

• "Inventions have long since reached their limit, and I see no hope for further developments," Roman engineer Julius Sextus Frontinus, 10 A.D.
• "Everything that can be invented has already been invented," Charles Duell, commissioner for the US Patent Office, 1899.
• "The Americans have need of the telephone, but we do not. We have plenty of messenger boys," Sir William Preece, chief engineer at the British Post Office, 1878.
• "Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?" H.M. Warner, Warner Bros., 1927.
• "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers," Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943.
• "Television won't be able to hold on to any market it captures after the first six months. People will soon get tired of staring at a plywood box every night," Darryl Zanuck, 20th Century Fox, 1946.
• "The world potential market for copying machines is 5,000 at most," IBM executives to the eventual founders of Xerox, 1959.
• "There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home," Ken Olsen, founder of mainframe-producer Digital Equipment Corp., 1977.
• "No one will need more than 637 kb of memory for a personal computer—640K ought to be enough for anybody," Bill Gates, Microsoft, 1981.
• "Next Christmas the iPod will be dead, finished, gone, kaput," Sir Alan Sugar, British entrepreneur, 2005.

On the other hand and according to Crovitz, science fiction writer Arthur C. Clarke was an exception to the rule that predicting the future of technology was hard as he predicted everything from satellite communications systems to the Internet. His op-ed is worth a quick read.

Weird travel gadgets: USB powered air conditioned shirt by Kuchofuku

If you are planning a trip to the tropics in summer time, this USB Air Conditioned Shirt has fans powered by a USB drive that will blow fresh air into the shirt. Beats having to sit there and fan yourself! Available from the Japan Trend Shop for US$230.

Chinglish lesson of the day: You can enjoy the fresh air after finishing a civilized urinating

Weird travel gadgets: Nano-UV disinfection scanner

If you are traveling and are worried about all of those new and scary diseases out there like bird or swine flue, this nano-UV disinfection scanner can destroy all kinds of dangerous microorganisms without toxins or side effects (I can just imagine someone using this on an airplane before they take their seat). The scanner is 3 3/4"H x 1 3/4"W x 1"D and uses two AAA batteries. Available from Skymall.com for US$59.99.

Achmed the dead terrorist christmas special

What would Christmas be without some politically incorrect humor?

Chinglish lesson of the day: F*** the certain price of goods

Everyone hates inflation – including merchants!

Weird travel gadgets: Travel bidet

Perfect for European and perhaps Japanese travelers, this pocket-size Travel Bidet was designed for those traveling to (shall we say) less sophisticated countries (perhaps America included!). Available from Skymall.com for US$44.95.

Why airlines should not piss off celebrities

Hat tip to the Dallas Morning News’ Aviation Blog for posting this video of Craig Ferguson's recounting of a recent airplane trip he attempted to take on Continental and why you should never piss off celebrities – especially comedians!

Great moments in journalism: How privatization gets reported in America

Here is what happens when you announce that unionized janitors will be laid off in order to save taxpayers some money: They don’t show up to work but the media and the Democrats do with their cameras. Read the full story on Politico or view all of the pictures on the site of the Democratic Party of Wisconsin.

Chinglish lesson of the day: Please keep up your belongings

In the Shanghai subway:

Weird travel gadgets: Pickpocket alarm

The next time you are on a crowded bus or subway, the Doberman Security’s tiny watchdog will hold your cell phones and wallets securely in place. And if anyone tries to snatch them, a 95-decibel alarm louder than the average lawnmower will alert even those who are hearing impaired. Available from Amazon.com for US$14.99.

Great moments in journalism: The Tiger Woods crash animation (Chinese version)

In case you have somehow missed it, here is the original Chinese version of the Tiger Woods crash video. Its the latest creation of Jimmy Lai and his Hong Kong-based Next Media tabloid group and you can read more about the Tiger Woods animation in the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times. In fact, the animation has proved to be so popular that other Tiger Wood’s inspired animation videos are floating around on YouTube.

Singaporean english kills the english language funny Talk

If you are having a party in Singapore, no need to worry ar. We hav beef fly rice. We hav da flu jus. Big c*** also got...

Weird travel gadgets: Metal-detecting sandals

In case you are planning a visit to the beach soon and you are worried about stepping on broken glass or much worst, these metal-detecting sandals can detect metal up to two feet below the sand. The sandals requires one 9-volt battery which provides up to six hours of use. Available from Hammacher.com for US$59.95.

Chinglish lesson of the day: Loving life, don't turn round the handrail

Real (Japanese) men own - pink cell phones

The Eccentric Japan blog has noted the latest trend in accessories for the Japanese man: Pink cell phones. In fact, there is a new commercial featuring actor Hiro Mizushima with his cool new pink cell phone but somehow though, I don’t think Western men are ready for them just yet:

Weird travel gadgets: Touchscreen cell phone watch

This cell phone for your wrist operates on the same tri-band network as other cell phones enabling you to both place and receive calls in most of the world's countries. And if you need to carry on conversations “wrist-free,” it also comes with a Bluetooth headset. Available from Hammacher.com for US$199.95.

Chinglish lesson of the day: Please care your behaviors to parallel with the image of the Stone Forest Scenery

In other words, don’t F*** around!

 Photo by Lori Ann.

Weird photo of the day: Obese American Airlines passenger in an economy class seat

This photo of an overweight passenger in an economy class seat on American Airlines has made the rounds on several aviation related blogs but I do have to wonder if the photo is actually for real. Then again, I have seen plenty of people his size in America or elsewhere lately. You can read more about the story and the debate about what should be done with obese people who fly on the FlightGlobal blog and on the Airliner Blog.

Weird travel gadgets: Self-propelled suitcase

If you pack heavy rather than light or are planning a trip to San Francisco or the Swiss Alps, this self-propelled suitcase provides power assistance when you encounter inclines or are straining to roll it. The suitcase holds up to 70 1/2 lbs and there must be at least 15-lbs in it for the power assistance to operate while the battery will last up to 2 1/4 hours (or 1 3/4 miles) after a full charge. Available from Hammacher.com for US$1,300.

Dubai’s boom and bust in pictures

The New York Time’s Lens blog has put together a photo essay showcasing the work of photographer Lauren Greenfield who recently visited Dubai to capture both the boom and the simultaneous bust that is occurring there. What she found there was a reminder of what is happening right now in America and California in particular but only on a grander scale.

Chinglish lesson of the day: Forbid riding on slope

Weird travel gadgets: Banana protector

This British-designed product is actually very useful – especially if you like to take a banana with you to work or to school every day. Available from Lazyboneuk.com for US$6.50.

Chinglish lesson of the day: Meet in middle

From the Beijing Metro.

Weird travel gadgets: Movie-screen eyeglasses

Great for those long-haul trans-Atlantic or cross continent flights, just plug your iPod into these eyeglasses to feel like you are in an actual movie theater. The glasses use a tiny, rechargeable built-in lithium ion battery which provides up to five hours of continuous use. Available from SkyMall from US$179.95 to US$449.95

Foster Brooks as a drunk airline pilot

While drunk airline pilots occasionally making the news is not particularly funny, this Foster Brooks’ impersonation of one is hilarious:  

Weird travel gadgets: Personal seat protector

If you are traveling and are worried about what the previous person who sat in your seat may have left behind, this slipcover designed for airplane seats is made from a machine-washable polyester-Spandex blend and even comes with its own handy carrying case. Available from Surefit.net for US$14.99.

Weird travel gadgets: Huge Swiss Army Knife

The Wenger company’s grandest export has 87 (that’s right, 87 tools!) tools in its three-by-eight-inch frame. This includes seven different razor-sharp blades, a signal whistle, a fish scalar and even a shotgun choke tube. Available from Hammacher.com for US$1,400 (in other words, don’t mistakenly place it in your carry-on luggage!).

Chinglish lesson of the day: Sweet hint. Caution boiled water

After all, it could scald you.

Card-activated crypts in Japan

Talk about merging the old and the new: Ancestor worship + card activated crypts = high tech cemeteries. Watch the video on Yahoo or read the script here.

Chinglish lesson of the day: Be careful. Beware of the pond

Loch Ness Monster perhaps?

Weird travel gadgets: Wi-Fi detector shirt

The perfect fashion item for a fashionable technology geek, this Wi-Fi detector shirt will tell you and everyone around you the current wi-fi signal strength in the immediate vicinity. Just don’t forget to unplug the battery pack and remove it before washing! Available from ThinkGeek for US$19.99.

Chinglish lesson of the day: Cosy Prompt. Visitor please Sidewalk

Weird travel gadgets: SensorFreshQ food safety tester

Should you be partaking in any street food on your next visit to a developing country, this device will tell you how fresh that meat or poultry is by “sniffing” the air around it for bacteria. Available from Amazon.com for US$89.95.

Chinglish lesson of the day: Rather more curves, please hold the armrest for your safety

Apparently this warning can be seen on the Chengdu Airport bus.

Weird travel gadgets: The Senz Extreme Umbrella

If you live in a tropical or rainy or windy climate, you probably go through several umbrellas during a particularly nasty or wet monsoon season. Enter the SENZ Extreme Umbrella which has been tested under 180 MPH wind conditions by skydivers. Now all you have to worry about is misplacing it. Available from SENZ Umbrellas starting at €45.95.

Japanese urban camouflage by Aya Tsukioka

In case you are concerned about your personal safety, the Kitsune Noir blog has noted that designer Aya Tsukioka has created a skirt that unfolds to become a realistic looking vending machine in order to hide from would be attackers. Somehow though, I don’t think this will work on the mean streets of the South Bronx or Johannesburg!

Chinglish lesson of the day: Car kiss and ride

Cantonese in one minute: Electricity

In a second equally entertaining video, Pierre-Francois Metayer of PFMproductionz explains the various components of the Chinese character for “electricity” in Cantonese:

Mandarin in one minute: To sing

Pierre-Francois Metayer of PFMproductionz has produced this amusing video to help non-Mandarin speakers to learn how to speak (some) Mandarin:

The Obama do nothing skit on Saturday Night Live

Or as James Taranto best summarized it in the Wall Street Journal: "The Norwegian Nobel Committee makes President Obama look ridiculous."

Chinglish lesson of the day: Carefulness bump head

Tall Westerners watch out!

Please lighten your load before boarding our aircraft

Here is an odd story from several newspapers (including Daily Mail, The Independent and the Toronto Star) that is also being picked up by several aviation and travel blogs, including the Wend blog and the Dallas Morning News’ Airline Biz blog. Apparently, All Nippon Airways (ANA) is now asking passengers to use the toilet before boarding the aircraft so that they will weigh less and help to cut carbon emissions (and cut the overall cost for fuel as well). The theory behind the request is simple: empty bowels and bladders will mean lighter passengers and hence lighter aircraft and lower fuel usage (and not to mention some additional cost savings for the airline). However, this is definitely better than the Ryanair idea to charge passengers to use the onboard toilet!

Chinglish lesson of the day: Be careful of landslide

Chinglish lesson of the day: Please Steek Gently

Trendy restaurants: Tokyo’s Vampire Café

The Vampire Café is a gothic themed restaurant in Tokyo’s Ginza district and a bit creepy to say the least. Apparently, waitresses are dressed up as French maids…

Chinese swine flu video

Why you have to love the Chinese as this is what they show on their flights!

“Swine influenza comes from America… spreads around the world… its true name is A(H1N1)… what a shame!”

Read the whole story on the Wall Street Journal’s China Real Time Report blog.

Singlish lesson of the day: Small parts may be generated

Kids be careful!

French rudeness causes Japanese visitors to suffer psychiatric problems

“Around a dozen Japanese tourists a year need psychological treatment after visiting Paris as the reality of unfriendly locals and scruffy streets clashes with their expectations.” Read the full story on MSNBC.

Nyotaimori (body sushi)

Nyotaimori is the Japanese practice of eating sushi or sashimi or from the body of a woman who is usually naked. Buon Appetite!

 

The history of modern toilet paper

Modern toilet paper is the result of American entrepreneurism and innovation and it further got a boast by being recommended by both doctors and plumbers. To learn more about this modern miracle product, read this Mental Floss article.

More American workers outsourcing own jobs overseas

From the Onion – America’s finest news source.

Aussie road signs: Last pub 897 km

Better drink up!

Beer hydrates better than water

Seriously, its been proven by scientists according to Backpacker.com. So next time you play sports or run in a marathon, be sure to have a case of lager handy!