Chinglish lesson of the day: Forbid riding on slope

Weird travel gadgets: Banana protector

This British-designed product is actually very useful – especially if you like to take a banana with you to work or to school every day. Available from Lazyboneuk.com for US$6.50.

Chinglish lesson of the day: Meet in middle

From the Beijing Metro.

Weird travel gadgets: Movie-screen eyeglasses

Great for those long-haul trans-Atlantic or cross continent flights, just plug your iPod into these eyeglasses to feel like you are in an actual movie theater. The glasses use a tiny, rechargeable built-in lithium ion battery which provides up to five hours of continuous use. Available from SkyMall from US$179.95 to US$449.95

Foster Brooks as a drunk airline pilot

While drunk airline pilots occasionally making the news is not particularly funny, this Foster Brooks’ impersonation of one is hilarious:  

Weird travel gadgets: Personal seat protector

If you are traveling and are worried about what the previous person who sat in your seat may have left behind, this slipcover designed for airplane seats is made from a machine-washable polyester-Spandex blend and even comes with its own handy carrying case. Available from Surefit.net for US$14.99.

Weird travel gadgets: Huge Swiss Army Knife

The Wenger company’s grandest export has 87 (that’s right, 87 tools!) tools in its three-by-eight-inch frame. This includes seven different razor-sharp blades, a signal whistle, a fish scalar and even a shotgun choke tube. Available from Hammacher.com for US$1,400 (in other words, don’t mistakenly place it in your carry-on luggage!).

Chinglish lesson of the day: Sweet hint. Caution boiled water

After all, it could scald you.

Card-activated crypts in Japan

Talk about merging the old and the new: Ancestor worship + card activated crypts = high tech cemeteries. Watch the video on Yahoo or read the script here.

Chinglish lesson of the day: Be careful. Beware of the pond

Loch Ness Monster perhaps?

Weird travel gadgets: Wi-Fi detector shirt

The perfect fashion item for a fashionable technology geek, this Wi-Fi detector shirt will tell you and everyone around you the current wi-fi signal strength in the immediate vicinity. Just don’t forget to unplug the battery pack and remove it before washing! Available from ThinkGeek for US$19.99.

Chinglish lesson of the day: Cosy Prompt. Visitor please Sidewalk

Weird travel gadgets: SensorFreshQ food safety tester

Should you be partaking in any street food on your next visit to a developing country, this device will tell you how fresh that meat or poultry is by “sniffing” the air around it for bacteria. Available from Amazon.com for US$89.95.

Chinglish lesson of the day: Rather more curves, please hold the armrest for your safety

Apparently this warning can be seen on the Chengdu Airport bus.

Weird travel gadgets: The Senz Extreme Umbrella

If you live in a tropical or rainy or windy climate, you probably go through several umbrellas during a particularly nasty or wet monsoon season. Enter the SENZ Extreme Umbrella which has been tested under 180 MPH wind conditions by skydivers. Now all you have to worry about is misplacing it. Available from SENZ Umbrellas starting at €45.95.